Spider Spit

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Won’t you hold me while feel.

                                       When the wind blows, see your face deteriorate.

Mention this to me and see the weather change

I’ve been picking my scabs again

I want to know what I’ve been hiding in my shadow.

                 From the shadow she crawls and in the shadow she finds a way.

Please don’t hesitate. Don’t procrastinate. Communicate.

Choosing to be here in this body, reminding me that I am not alone

The damage is done and I’m on my way.

Alive.

All this pain is an illusion.

All your walls are crumbling; it’s getting too hard to breathe.

Muhammad my friend, teach me how to love

My lamb and martyr, release in Sodomy.

You were the voice that’s been calling me back home.

A sucking holy wind will take me from this bed tonight

I fell at the hands of those movements that I wouldn’t see.

                                Disturbed waters cover sands like swarms of refugees.

Be patient.

I lose myself between the sounds and open wide to suck it in.

Right in two.

Did you ever think I get lonely; Did you ever think that I needed love; did you ever think to stop thinking that you’re the only one that I’m thinking of? So crucify the ego before it’s far too late; in my darkest moment, foetal and weeping, finding comfort in the emptiness, finding comfort in this.

Look son, you’re in a safe place, we want to help you, in whatever way we can. But you need to talk to us, we can’t help you otherwise. Now, what’s happened? Tell me everything…

You had me going for a while, a long while in which I calculated the present so that the future no longer existed and the past was forgotten. I became static. I had nothing to prove until you came, until you spoke, until you walked away and I was left out. I needed to prove my calculations. Like E.T. I needed contact. I became my own prophet delivering my singular purpose. I chose myself. But with no God. I worshipped almond eyes that barely showed behind an overwhelming veil. I can’t remember identity. I can’t remember my mother. I am strapped down. I am held down. I am destroying what I cannot see. I am destroying what does not exist. A reverse ex nihilo.

The loss of  this God won’t make me bleed.

Forty-Six and Two; Belong; Girl; Reflection; Communicate; Muhammad my friend. Parabola; Tighter and Tighter; Right in Two; In My Darkest Hour; Disposition; Wings for Marie; Viginte Tres; I Can’t Remember.

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